Line Of The Day

"Damn Asians keep eating and don't gain an ounce of fat, wtf bro!"

Two things, some might consider that a tad racist and I guess sumo wrestlers did not make the cut.

Line Of The Day

"Some women have no class, letting their muffin top hangout and showing off their ass crack. We want to see a nice but and great rack, just like women want to see abs, chiseled chest and bulging biceps. Nobody wants to see shamu."

Can't add much to this one.

Line Of The Day

"Good morning, it is hot and humid outside just how I like it!"

Good morning was just not good enough.

Line Of The Day

"Becoming a millionaire is much easier than trying to figure out what's going on in the mind of a women."

There is some shred of truth in that.

Line Of The Day

"Walking around the apartment in boxers should be mandatory!"

You really do feel free.

Line Of The Day

"Get a smartphone, just do it. Girls like a man with a smartphone because she won't pose for you with a flip phone."

I did not know I majored in photography.

Line Of The Day

"I have seen a lot of women with short/pixie hair these days and I wonder whom we should credit with this, Halle Berry or Rihanna?"

This is a very good question.

Line Of The Day

"My neighbors still think President Obama is Muslim."

You are probably thinking "oh this must be from down south," but no, it's Jersey.

Line Of The Day

"If someone don't look good in shades, odds are they are fugly."

I guess we are going to see a lot of those with the nice weather.

Line Of The Day

"I saw a fat black lady waiting on line to get into shake shack... she does not need shake shack, she needs a shake weight."

That's a very descriptive analysis of the situation.

Line Of The Day

"Its like saying stretch limos are boring. You know you can't turn, you know you can't park it wherever you like. But you know you can have a feast inside. Set up a full bar if need be. And a buffet of course."

Limos are cool.

Line Of The Day

"It's getting tough to stay positive about the upcoming season."

That is a Yankees' fan understanding how Mets' fans feel every season.

Line Of The Day

"When it comes to women's boobs it like the reverse since we were in grade school. Bakc then all we wanted were A's but now every guy hopes for C's or D's."

Just let the truth of those words wash over you.

Line of The Day

"Rihanna's pour it up song makes me wanna go to Sapphire."

For those who don't know Sapphire is a strip club out in Vegas.

Line Of The Day

"Happy Valentine's Day. Who is the luckly lady? Who is the lucky girl? Who is the lucky boy? Who is the lucky bucket of chicken?"

This is what a female friend texted me last week on Valentine's Day. Glad to see she has finished her sensitivity training.

Line Of The Day

"Arod is like the Lindsay Lohan of the sports world..."

Well the way things have been going for Lohan lately I considered that a step up. Don't you agree?

Line Of The Day

"All women have been jizzed on, so I never understood why they pretend they're too good to get jizzed on again."

All I did was ask him how was work.

Line Of The Day

"Gangman style sounds like Open Condom style lol... Sorry I ruined the song for u lol..."

Line Of The Day

"I'm always open to sex tapes."

Line Of The Day

"Saw a good looking guy the other day.. I'm not gay but he had blue eyes."