FML Of The Day

"Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch." FML

I call that my Friday and Saturday nights.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I had my first game ever as an ice hockey goalie. Our team didn't have a goalie helmet, so they gave me a regular one which didn't cover me completely. I was worried about it and told my coach, but he said I would be fine. I then took a puck to the throat that sent me to the hospital." FML

I smell a lawsuit brewing.

Sexy Lady Of The Week

I bet you guys didn't see this one coming, huh? Tina Fey has grown on me over the years and I'm not mad at that. She is funny and witty plus she is a sneaky kind of hot. Nothing about her physically pops out at you at first but after watching her you become smitten with her and have no idea why.

Search Weight

Sidenote: I'm a major fan of the glasses and can't wait for her to take them off.

FML Of The Day

"Today, my older brother walked in on me while I was wearing nothing but a bra, panties, pantyhose, and high heels. I'm his little brother." FML

Do people not have locks on their doors?

What's Wrong With My Flip Phone?

What's wrong with my flip phone? That's the question I ask you. Everyone who sees it have this amazed look on their face as if they didn't think it existed. My friend always tries to get me to switch to an iPhone and my roommate mocks me everytime I whip it out (the phone people get your minds out the gutter.) A lady the other day said to me "Dude, how old is your phone?" She was born before cell phones were invented!

So am I being stubborn? Why don't I just upgrade to a new phone? The reason is because I don't have to but it is getting tougher everyday. I saw three guys with flip phones in the past month and they were probably old enough to be my dad. In an age when babies are handed smart phones out of the birth canal it does seem weird that I don't get with the program.

Do you think I'm being stupid for not joining the cool kids or do you agree with me that I could do what I want? I actually have to explain to people why I still carry that phone around. Feels like I just stole something and just got put on the witness stand.

Sidenote: For those wondering, yes, that is my phone in the pic above and it get's the job done. But then again women don't flock to me, so maybe I should get rid of the vagina repellent.

Song Of The Week- Afrojack ft Chris Brown- "As Your Friend"

You ever had a song that the second you heard it, it just clicked. Well Afrojack's new song featuring Chris Brown- "As Your Friend" is that song. I have been playing it nonstop since I heard it but of course it might be over played some months from now but let's enjoy it until then.

FML Of The Day

"Today I came back to my dorm to find my roommate forgot to get rid of her massive amounts of cheese before break. She did, however, remember to unplug the refrigerator." FML

99% of the time its better to leave the fridge on.