FML Of The Day

"Today, I was hanging out with the guy I really like. I lifted my arms to put my hair in a ponytail when he noticed a hole that had apparently tore in the armpit of my shirt, so he put his finger through it. I haven't shaved in weeks." FML

If it were Lil Wayne he would have no worries.

Song Of The Week - Baauer- Harlem Shake

Here is the full "Harlem Shake" song by Baauer. For the past week or so I have been obsessed with these Harlem Shake viral videos. When I think I have seen them all its as if thirty more pop up. This song is addictive and catchy as hell. Who knows maybe we here at BNB might make our own video but considering we have no rhythm we might pass on that.

Line Of The Day

"Arod is like the Lindsay Lohan of the sports world..."

Well the way things have been going for Lohan lately I considered that a step up. Don't you agree?

My Dream Is To Marry One Of These Creatures

I was talking to my buddy the other day and he drops the line above "My dream is to marry one of these creatures." Now you may wonder who were we talking about, so to help you here she is, Jess Green

Jess Green

And just in case you needed another picture:

Jess Green

So he says to me if he ever had an opportunity to marry a woman it would be someone like her. He said of course there would have to be proof like getting her pregnant because no one would ever believe him. This would probably be the view of most men out there except...

But then I said something that I didn't think I would ever say, "I don't want to marry her for her looks because looks fade after time." I heard cars screeching to a halt outside, crying babies sitting still and men everywhere looking to take away my "man card."

My buddy just decided to give me a hug like he was Dr. Phil and I had made one of the biggest mistakes of my life.I will never live this down because none of my friends want to look me in the eyes anymore when they talk to me. It's like I'm Medusa and carrying the plague or something.

Lesson here is whenever a hot girl is mentioned in a conversation just agree because if you don't you become that guy and trust me I wish I wasn't that guy.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I had to spend a few hours in a hospital with a toddler and a preschooler projecting vomit all over, because my husband thinks "expiration dates are for pussies." FML

He has to raise his kids the right way

FML Of The Day

"Today, I finally figured out why I've been getting diarrhea so often over the past six months. It only happens whenever I do something "sneaky." My body reacts strongly to how I stress over potentially getting caught. I'm a  private investigator, and I apparently need a new career." FML

Bad career choice for sure.

Katy Perry Should Have Been Nominated For That Dress Alone

Did I watch the Grammy's Award Show? Nope. Do I know most of the people that were nominated? Not really. But was I intrigued when I saw pictures of Katy Perry in that dress she had on? HELL YES!!

You know she had it going on when Elln forgets Portia De Rossi is on her arm. Ellen was like "who am I married to and can I just motorboat those titties?" I just loved every minute of this. It looks like someone found a loophole around the Grammy's dress code

And everybody hates on John Mayer because he is a jerk and does not treat women right, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. This man gets to lie next to Perry and if that makes him a jerk then I want that to be my career parth.

I wanted to question that jacket he was wearing but I quickly realized he is on fire right now and all I do is write this blog.