FML Of The Day

"Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while watching TV. I thought it would be cute to try to kiss him awake like they do in the movies. He farted." FML

Haha! You don't when you're sleeping but I like her idea.

FML Of The Day

"Today, after my shift at the hospital ended, I happened to look into a full-length mirror. My new scrubs turned out to be see-through. Instead of my undies, everyone got a good look at my cellulite-ridden ass. Fan-fucking-tastic day to wear a thong." FML

I'm sure guys were still competing to hit that.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself." FML

Forget commando, time for diapers.

Line Of The Day

"If someone don't look good in shades, odds are they are fugly."

I guess we are going to see a lot of those with the nice weather.

FML Of The Day

"Today, while at a hospital, a prayer group circled me and started praying that God and the good doctors and nurses would heal me from the disease that disfigured my face. I was there to visit my sick grandmother." FML

That's rough. I wonder if they are going to hell for saying that?

FML Of The Day

"Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone." FML

What a dumb-ass! I give her all the credit in the world.

Lazy Sunday Post- Missed Connections

Something to think about next time you're in the park:

Red Sweatshirt and Black Converse in Washington Square Park - m4w - 22 (Greenwich Village)
I saw you on a bench in Washington Square Park today, Saturday afternoon, and I know what you were doing with your hands in your lap. It was a thrill to sit near you, even two benches away. Write me with the name of the College on your hoodie; maybe you'd like someone to help turn the pages for you next time, but all I want to know is what was on your Kindle that got you so turned on.