FML Of The Day

"Today, my husband and I were at the mall, and decided to have a snack at the food court. As we ate, an obese woman squeezed past our table, butt facing us. Just when her ass-cheeks slid past our heads, she let out a horrific fart that my father would be proud of." FML

What a fucking filthy bitch!!!!

Lazy Sunday Post

Ok, so this isn't a missed connection, but you have to admit it is freaking amazing. This is how you sell a motorcycle in Philly.

 For Sale: 2006 Ninja 650R Track Bike and Spares - $3500 (SW Philly)

Asking $3500. Comes with the Pit Bull rear stand and a spare set of bodywork in the same colors.Bill of Sale / Track Only -- Unless you care to go through the
trouble of getting a title I'm getting married in a month, and need the cash to pay for the honeymoon. So you'll have the honor of paying for my lady and myself to get the fuck out of Philly for a time, and if sex tapes are made you might get first dibs ;) The alternative is possibly naming the child conceived after you -- if your name doesn't suck.

I bought this machine approximately two months before I lost my job, while I was living the easy life of single, rent free parental housing. Also, approximately one month after I met the most awful woman ever to walk the face of the Earth. Goodbye disposable income, hello instant regret. Buried in the garage we go!

Took a few months, but I got a new start in a new city. The new job would give me disposable income, if I were still single, and if rent didn't suck ass. Needless to say, I have had no time and no cash to play with my wondrous "new" toy. Continue this for two years. Finally, hello amazing one night stand, goodbye psychotic ex! That one-night stand became a hell of a lot more than either of us ever imagined, and now it's going to be a lifetime. Now this isn't like some guys, who are forced out of their pride and joy. . . I'm keeping my street bike, and you'll pry the bars from my cold, dead hands.

On to the bike. . .
• 2006 Kawasaki Ninja 650R
• 3550 miles
• Safety wired to CCS/WERA rulebook
• Two sets of Cheetah race bodywork
• Wearing the same track take-offs it wore the day I bought it
• Sitting on / comes with a Pitbull rear stand
• I've been inside the cases to check things out, and it's spotless
• No Title / No registration / No Insurance -- I bought it for a track bike
• Penske Rear Shock set for ~190 lb rider
• Preload adjustors, Traxxion Dynamics front springs, Racetech cartridge emulators
• Billet Aluminum Aftermarket levers
• Billet Aluminum Woodcraft rearsets
• Arrow aftermarket exhaust (silencer not installed, but included)
• Hyper Naked aftermarket bars
• Power CommanderJust installed a new battery - the original went flat after sitting in the garage for almost three years. Cranks right up and runs beautifully.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

Fool

Song Of The Week- Anna Kendrick- Cups

The first time I heard this song I really did not know what to make of it but I was a fan. So here is Anna Kendrick's "Cups (When I'm Gone)," from the movie "Pitch Perfect." I didn't know she sang as well.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I caught my 16-year-old daughter and her boyfriend trying to use a latex glove as a condom." FML

Do people even make an effort anymore? Every store you walk into sells condoms. If you are embarrassed go to a store with self-checkout or buy it online, wtf.

Line Of The Day

"Some women have no class, letting their muffin top hangout and showing off their ass crack. We want to see a nice but and great rack, just like women want to see abs, chiseled chest and bulging biceps. Nobody wants to see shamu."

Can't add much to this one.

Sexy Lady Of The Week

I didn't know Brazilian actresses went over to India to star in Bollywood movies but thanks to Brown man I now know about, Nicole Amy Madell. Don't worry I already thanked him for the rest of us.


Fashion Fad

 

FML Of The Day

"Today, I drove out to a party. I arrived just in time to see some guy blowing his load on my sister in the driveway." FML

Australia... wow! He is going to be scarred for life. Why would they not do it in the car or the bushes? Some people have no class.

Line Of The Day

"Good morning, it is hot and humid outside just how I like it!"

Good morning was just not good enough.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I asked my cute co-worker out to dinner. He immediately responded, "I'm sorry; you're just really not my type." Offended, I asked why not, only for him to reply with, "Well, you're a girl." FML

Probably going to be her new best friend

Sexy Lady Of The Week- Abigail Ratchford

Akamai



This week we have Abigail Ratchford and as brown man so eloquently put it, her breasts should be considered illegal.

 

FML OF The Day

"Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way." FML

Holy crap, there is a therapist out there that is going to make a lot of money.

Song Of The Week- J. Cole ft Kendrick Lamar- "Forbidden Fruit"

If you have not listened to anything J. Cole has released this is your time to jump on that bandwagon. His latest album, "Born Sinner" which will be released next Tuesday June 18, sounds like it is going make waves across hip-hop. Listen to his song Forbidden Fruit featuring another young rapper, Kendrick Lamar.