FML Of The Day

"Today, I realized my period was two weeks late and panicked about being pregnant due to missing a pill a few weeks ago.Then I remembered I haven't had sex in almost a year." FML

Why is she on the pill to begin with?

FML Of The Day

"Today, I announced to my boyfriend that I'm pregnant. He immediately denied that it was his because "a childhood accident" supposedly left him sterile. He has a child from a previous relationship." FML

Are these fake or are people really this stupid?

FML Of The Day

"Today, I surprisingly found two empty seats on the subway. Before anyone could get to them, I rushed and triumphantly sat down, enjoying my victory, until I noticed why they were empty. I had just sat down next to a guy vigorously trying to fellate himself." FML

Damn, that sucks!

FML Of The Day

"Today, I had a hard time taking a dump. Before flushing, I noticed two pennies and a dime incrusted in my turd. It seems that yesterday, while drunk, I swallowed some change." FML

Must avoid eating coins

FML Of The Day

"Today, I have four flights, I spent last night projectile vomiting with food poisoning. By the time I got to the airport it had progressed to liquid diarrhea. Two flights in, I got my period." FML

Forget the day, that's a horrible week.

FML Of The Day

"Today, my mom threw my tampons in the garbage and said that from now on, I'll be buying pads instead. Turns out she read a scare story going around by email that all the local teens are soaking their tampons in alcohol and inserting them anally to secretly get drunk." FML

Huh?

Line Of The Day

"Its like females running wild in tight pants around today."

FML Of The Day

"Today, I found out that the pool boy has been stealing from me for over a year now. The latest things that he has taken are my laptop, the cash I hide in my closet and my wife." FML

I can't say I wouldn't have broken him into pieces.

Line Of The Day

"The women... the women."

Oh yes, man's favorite time of the year, when women wear less.

Underground Artist Wednesday

Before Skrillex became one of the most recognizable spinners in the world and after he left the band From First To Last he began recording his solo music. As Sonny Moore he started something totally different then his previous works but led to the works he produces today so listen and check out "Gypsyhook."

FML Of The Day

"Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time." FML

Not cool.

You Have To Be Kidding Me Chad?

http://www.inquisitr.com/301632/chad-johnson-cheated-on-evelyn-lozada-before-wedding-photo/

I lost a lot of respect for you Chad Johnson formerly Ochocinco or should I say "Oh no!" I'm not going to get into the domestic dispute because no one was there to prove which side of the story is factual or not. But you go and cheat on your wife with her:

Twitter

You have to be kidding me right? You are an NFL wide receiver who could have the cream of the crop when it comes to the groupie smash list and you picked her. I almost threw up after looking at that picture. I hope this broad is just jokng around and wants to jump on the let's hate Chad bandwagon because no way could you cheat down and not up, as Steve from the Talk of the Town  had written about earlier this year.

We here at the Black and Brown blog try not to disrespect or judge people but damn this is tough to overlook! She has no body, not that pretty, already has kids and does not keep her yap shut. After adding those up you can clearly see she has no discernible qualities whatsoever. Chad I think you're funny and a talented player but to steal a line from you "Child please."

Line Of The Day

"Wow! Do I smell burning chicken?"

This person must be black. Don't pretend like you were not thinking it.

FUS= Fucked Up Story

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/crime/pennsylvania-woman-accused-poisoning-man-visine-eyedrops-tells-police-wanted-attention-article-1.1134427


This broad gives women everywhere a bad name. Actually let me rephrase that, this broad gives sane women everywhere a bad name. I have never been in love but usually when you want someone's attention I don't know you might call them more, hang out with them or try getting their attention in some positive form or another. I don't think poisoning a person you like or love makes any sense. But what do I know? I just write a blog about stupid people doing stupid things everyday. I wonder if women read this article and said this dumb broad just ruined it for us again?

FML Of The Day

"Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size." FML

The shit that happens when the alcohol starts flowing!

Song Of The Week

Rapper Future has just released a music video for his single "Turn On The Lights." The beat and flow might throw you off at first but if you lsiten to it a couple of times you will notice it is good. So check it out an don't be afraid to let us know what you think.

Stupid Sh** People Say

CSlacker.com

Black Kid: Hey, do you know karate?

Asian kid: No I don't with a quizzical look on his face.

Black kid: Are you sure because I watch a lot of Bruce Lee and you look like his cousin?

I will not lie to you, when I heard this I could not stop laughing. It took me sometime to regain my composure and move on. Oh the stereotypes that we bestow on each other whether on purpose or by accident. That Asian kid could have replied did you pack you r grape soda and fried chicken for lunch today? Or he could have went with how is your baby mama Kiki today? We could go back and forth all day but I will quit while not ahead.

Line Of The Day

"I like it when you take control."

FML Of The Day

"Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose some weight." FML

I feel that anonymous writer is doing the building a public service.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I found the perfect opportunity to throw my husband a surprise party since he thought I was away on a business trip. He came home with a hooker. Surprise!" FML

That's a good wife, he had the good life but now he's probably going to get a foot long knife.

FML Of The Day

"Today, in the midst of having sex, my boyfriend decided that, as a joke, he would pretend to be a zombie whilst going down on me. Sadly, the thought turned me on so much that I came. This was the first orgasm he's ever given me in over a year of dating." FML

Proof women are weird.

Line of The Day

"Going to that party was not worth all this itching from mosquito bites."

It's better than itching from an STD.

Song Of The Week

This week we have the man from Cleveland himself Kid Cudi. We can all agree that playing Cudi is never a bad idea, so here he is with his song "Mr. Rager."

FML Of The Day

"Today, I packed all my clothes in a black garbage bag, so I could easily move them to my new house. When I came back outside to load it into my car, the bag was missing, and all I could see was a garbage truck driving away with the week's trash." FML

Ouch, I'd be devastated!

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderley man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed." FML

You don't have to give mouth to mouth... should have just started with compressions.