Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Song Of The Week
This week's song is taking it back a bit and we don't mind that. This request was made by a friend of this blog because he said this song helps him mellow out. It turns a so so day into a very good one. Well here is Frank Sinatra's That's Life.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was going well until she started talking dirty. saying stuff like, "You like my tushy, baby?" "I want to fellate you so bad," and "You'll need some ice after this one." My boner practically retracted into my body." FML
I can't blame the guy
I can't blame the guy
Monday, January 30, 2012
FUS= Fucked Up Story #2
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/01/29/north-carolina-man-charged-with-biting-cop-during-arrest/?test=latestnews&fb_source=message
Call me crazy but when the cops arrive at your home to respond to a domestic disturbance you might not want to do anything stupid. Well that pretty much went out the window when this idiot decided to turn into Cujo and bite the cop as if he was a slab of meat. You went from a misdemeanor to a felony, correct me if I'm wrong because a lawyer I'm not but that sounds like trouble. Good luck in prison and the only advice I can give you is don't drop the soap.
Call me crazy but when the cops arrive at your home to respond to a domestic disturbance you might not want to do anything stupid. Well that pretty much went out the window when this idiot decided to turn into Cujo and bite the cop as if he was a slab of meat. You went from a misdemeanor to a felony, correct me if I'm wrong because a lawyer I'm not but that sounds like trouble. Good luck in prison and the only advice I can give you is don't drop the soap.
FUS= Fucked Up Story
http://finance.yahoo.com/news/10-american-products-arent-american-133000946.html
I know we manufacture less in this country and outsource more but after reading the list above I don't know what to think. I never heard of American Girl Dolls but by the name you would think they were made in this country, well you would be very, very wrong. As we decided to put this story up all we could think was "wow we really dont make anything!!! Some of these had us fooled!"
I know we manufacture less in this country and outsource more but after reading the list above I don't know what to think. I never heard of American Girl Dolls but by the name you would think they were made in this country, well you would be very, very wrong. As we decided to put this story up all we could think was "wow we really dont make anything!!! Some of these had us fooled!"
Line Of The Day
Kim K: "Marriage happened too fast."
What did I fucken say I knew it. I need someone pat me on the back because I'm too sore to reach.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I was watching a movie in the basement with my boyfriend when we started to get a little frisky. My mom walks down with dirty laundry and tells him to stop it because I'm creaming all over my undies. She showed him a pair of dirty ones to prove it." FML
That's a keeper!! She's creaming? And the mother is cool and doing the laundry? Wow I wish I was that guy!
That's a keeper!! She's creaming? And the mother is cool and doing the laundry? Wow I wish I was that guy!
Sunday, January 29, 2012
She's A Sex Addict?
http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/top-stories/2012/01/27/i-ve-slept-with-1-000-men-so-far-i-don-t-care-if-people-judge-me-115875-23721753/
We here at the blog are all for sexual exploration and try not to judge people, however this story is pushing our boundaries. The woman in sed story has had sex with over 1,000 men and says that makes her a sex addict. I thought addiction was supposed to ruin your life and interfere with your day to day interactions but what do I know. If we are supposed to believe this lady then the same could be said about most teens and college students out there that also suffer from this but you don't see them complaining about it. Actually they embrace it and want more. As someone told me "God damn! We might as well start bowling down there."
Addiction- Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance.
I guess this lady might be onto something.
We here at the blog are all for sexual exploration and try not to judge people, however this story is pushing our boundaries. The woman in sed story has had sex with over 1,000 men and says that makes her a sex addict. I thought addiction was supposed to ruin your life and interfere with your day to day interactions but what do I know. If we are supposed to believe this lady then the same could be said about most teens and college students out there that also suffer from this but you don't see them complaining about it. Actually they embrace it and want more. As someone told me "God damn! We might as well start bowling down there."
Addiction- Compulsive physiological and psychological need for a habit-forming substance.
I guess this lady might be onto something.
FML Of The Day
"Today, while I was washing my hands, I sneezed so hard that I smacked my head against the faucet. I now have a lump the size of a goose egg on my head. I'm not sure if it's going to hatch, or if that's just the brain damage talking." FML
It's not so bad but it's funny the way he/she described it.
It's not so bad but it's funny the way he/she described it.
Saturday, January 28, 2012
FML Of The Day
"Today, I learned how awful intertrigo smells. I spent ton of money and years of my life to become a health care provider apparently to treat the yeast infection between an obese woman's fat folds." FML
That definitely does suck!!
That definitely does suck!!
Friday, January 27, 2012
Even Pornstars Want To Be Politicians
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Poles_apart_in_mayoral_race
After reading the story above about the pornstars who want to run for mayor we had a meeting here at Black and Brown offices. Really we just spoke over the phone but you get the point. We have decided to take our blogging talents to this Italian town and judge this upcoming pole dance contest. We understand that our fans, all three of you are disappointed but don't worry we can still blog from there as well. Just purchsed our tickets so chow.
After reading the story above about the pornstars who want to run for mayor we had a meeting here at Black and Brown offices. Really we just spoke over the phone but you get the point. We have decided to take our blogging talents to this Italian town and judge this upcoming pole dance contest. We understand that our fans, all three of you are disappointed but don't worry we can still blog from there as well. Just purchsed our tickets so chow.
Line Of The Day
"Does a fat girl have a bigger pussy?"
I really don't know how to respond to that one.
I really don't know how to respond to that one.
Party Spot
Desmond's Tavern is located on 433 Park Avenue South and is not a bad place to go and hangout after work or just in general. If you're on a budget the drinks are not too badly priced and if you want a place to watch the game you could do it here as well. If you are a person that is into live music or enjoy watching new bands there is a stage in the back that satisfies that need. So if you like the description for Desmond's Tavern then check it out. If it doesn't sound like someplace you would go then go anyway because it's the weekend and it's time to party.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I waited on an elderly man whose wife had just left him. After him going on and on about how his dog will love his leftover chicken, I nervously caught a case of verbal diarrhea and uttered, "Well, if there's chicken involved, I'll get on my knees and be your dog." FML
Wooow! I guess it's true, if you wine and dine them they'll do just about anything.
Wooow! I guess it's true, if you wine and dine them they'll do just about anything.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Underground Wednesdays
We have a new feature to the blog called Underground Wednesdays. If you follow this blog you know we put songs of the week on Tuesdays but now we are going to put music you probably have not heard or does not get much radio play on Wednesdays. We understand it's Thursday but just bear with us. So let us know what you think and if you have any suggestions for a better name or songs in general just email us at blknbr@gmail.com. The first songs we have are freestyles by Joe Budden over the No Church in The Wild beat and Wale spitting over the Rack City beat featuring Black Cobain.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I fell and sprained my ankle while trying to step into my underwear." FML
I bet this person is pretty fat.
I bet this person is pretty fat.
Sexy Lady Of The Week
This week's sexy lady goes by the name of Alexandra Bombshell and believe you me the name says it all. She is what many have termed a "video vixen" but she is so much more as she has hosted events, does some modeling and likes long walks on the beach. Ok so I might have made that last part up but you get the point. Check her out in Nypsey Hussle's video below for A Million and even though I like the song it's all about the bombshell today.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Christina Aguilera Hot Or Not?
When I was younger Christina Aguilera was on the short list of women I would punch the pope, my brothers and an undeserving person in the face to be with. Who am I kidding she was on a very long list that keeps growing as the years go on but that's neither here nor there. But now guys act like they would not sleep with her because she got more cushion for the pushin'.
All I say to that is would you rather have sex with a broomstick or someone you can grab hold of? It's not like her FUPA has made her feet barely visible to her. I understand she has a kid now and that will turnoff a lot of guys and that is understandable. Even the media questions her weight and it is starting to annoy me. But she is still sexy to me and this might be my only chance to live out a childhood fantasy so don't judge me. It will never happen so I'm not holding my breath.
Below there is a present picture of her and a past picture so I allow you to be the judge, even without a robe.
All I say to that is would you rather have sex with a broomstick or someone you can grab hold of? It's not like her FUPA has made her feet barely visible to her. I understand she has a kid now and that will turnoff a lot of guys and that is understandable. Even the media questions her weight and it is starting to annoy me. But she is still sexy to me and this might be my only chance to live out a childhood fantasy so don't judge me. It will never happen so I'm not holding my breath.
Below there is a present picture of her and a past picture so I allow you to be the judge, even without a robe.
Song Of The Week
I have not been able to stop playing Outasight's song Tonight Is The Night since I heard it last week. I am a bit disappointed that this was just brought to my attention but at least I know about it. Now you know about it and give it a listen.
FML OF The Day
"Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a movie and eating a burger. Feeling frisky, I sat up and took off my shirt. He looked at my chest, at his burger, then back at me and said "Give me a minute, I don't want my food to get cold." FML
I would have done the same!
I would have done the same!
Monday, January 23, 2012
Sunday, January 22, 2012
FML Of The Day
"Today, my girlfriend and I were hugging in the hall after school. This annoying kid I know walked by, and yelled, "Tiny penis!" at me. My girlfriend responded, "Yep." FML
Kids are so mean lmao.
Kids are so mean lmao.
Saturday, January 21, 2012
The Great Chase
A person I know plays in a band called the Great Chase and they have played some shows in the area and happened to be playing this past Thursday night. This was the second show I got to see and they were pretty good.. Look them up and I promise you won't be disappointed. Here is there Facebook page:
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Great-Chase/280081972048008
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Great-Chase/280081972048008
FML Of The Day
"Today, while in the middle of giving my husband a blow job, I looked up to see him staring into space and vigorously picking his nose." FML
What an ungrateful mofo.
What an ungrateful mofo.
Friday, January 20, 2012
FML Of The Day
"Today, I had to explain to my husband why putting on dirty underwear after a shower defeats the purpose. We had this discussion in the middle of me giving him head." FML
She's a trooper!
She's a trooper!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
WorldStarHipHop
If you want to get national news viewers can flip on NBC, Fox News or CNN. If you want international news maybe BBC is something you are into. If you want the latest on the ghetto WorldStarHipHop is your one stop shop.
Don't get me wrong WorldStar posts music videos, interviews with artists and did also cover the Occupy Wall Street movement. But the main reason most people tune into the site is for some of the ghettoest, I just invented a word, and craziest things you have ever seen.
I saw a video the other day about two girls fighting over a twitter argument. Seriously? The first words out of our young camerman's mouth were "this is going to WorldStar." So Worldstar is for the pople and YouTube is for the other guys? Another video showed a boy getting knocked out over a pair of sneakers he may or may not have stolen.
So don't fret your little hearts because WorldStar gets the news from the places you wouldn't visit if given $1,000,000.
Don't get me wrong WorldStar posts music videos, interviews with artists and did also cover the Occupy Wall Street movement. But the main reason most people tune into the site is for some of the ghettoest, I just invented a word, and craziest things you have ever seen.
I saw a video the other day about two girls fighting over a twitter argument. Seriously? The first words out of our young camerman's mouth were "this is going to WorldStar." So Worldstar is for the pople and YouTube is for the other guys? Another video showed a boy getting knocked out over a pair of sneakers he may or may not have stolen.
So don't fret your little hearts because WorldStar gets the news from the places you wouldn't visit if given $1,000,000.
Have You Ever Spoken To A Dumb Smart Person?
I was once told life is about meeting new people and finding out about them. Where they are from, what brought them to the place they are at the moment and how they like it? I can't wait to find this person and tell him to shove his wisdom where the shine don't shine.
I met this person the other day and he seemed pretty nice until he opened his mouth. While standing on line we began to make small talk to pass the time. That was mistake number 1. This person starts rambling on about things that make no sense whatsoever and how "speech is the only way to communicate but why don't we just communicate without speech?" It made me want to shut this guy up. I'm not a fighter so clearly this had to be one of those rare occasions in which backhanding him would be warranted.
I made it worse by making mistake number 2. He asked me a question and instead of ignoring this idiot I decided to respond with a comment that should have ended the conversation but to no avail. At this point I thought to myself Rick James was right when he said cocaine is a helluva drug because this guy had to be on everything under the sun.
So do yourself a favor, whenver you are out and about do what my roommate told me he did. Put on his headphones and mind his own business because he did not want to deal with stupid people and their stupid problems.
I met this person the other day and he seemed pretty nice until he opened his mouth. While standing on line we began to make small talk to pass the time. That was mistake number 1. This person starts rambling on about things that make no sense whatsoever and how "speech is the only way to communicate but why don't we just communicate without speech?" It made me want to shut this guy up. I'm not a fighter so clearly this had to be one of those rare occasions in which backhanding him would be warranted.
I made it worse by making mistake number 2. He asked me a question and instead of ignoring this idiot I decided to respond with a comment that should have ended the conversation but to no avail. At this point I thought to myself Rick James was right when he said cocaine is a helluva drug because this guy had to be on everything under the sun.
So do yourself a favor, whenver you are out and about do what my roommate told me he did. Put on his headphones and mind his own business because he did not want to deal with stupid people and their stupid problems.
Line of The Week
"My boyfriend ate KFC and now he is sick, what the hell man?"
First of all everyone likes chicken unless you are a vegan or vegetarian. Second, don't tell me like I'm a doctor you stupid, stupid person.
First of all everyone likes chicken unless you are a vegan or vegetarian. Second, don't tell me like I'm a doctor you stupid, stupid person.
BNB 10 NY Giants Playoff Update
Like, comment and subscribe to our videos. This video might be a week old but you could still watch.
Song Of The Week
The song this week is by Dirt Nasty featuring LMFAO and it's called I Can't Dance. This song speaks to me because I really can't dance. I'm the guy in the corner up against the wall doing the two-step and looking awkward at that. So If anyone knows my pain give this song a listen and maybe just maybe it will speak to you too.
FML Of The Day
"Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
Damn guys are filthy!
Damn guys are filthy!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Window Seat
I like the window seat. Forget that last sentence, I love the window seat. Checking out the scenary and people just passing by is great. I always tryu and call shotgun in car because no way do I want to be stifled in the back between two people. In no way am I car sick or claustrophobic but who really wants to be in the middle unless you're the creme filling in an oreo cookie?
Noone likes the aisle seast in a plane. The only people who like the aisle seast are those who have to always go to the bathroom or the people who have packed on a couple of pounds and can't squeeze in any further. Sure I will move and sit next to the crying baby so you can sit with your fiance and hold hands the whole flight. Not going to happen. So for Pete's sake don't mess with the window seat or you could be suffocating between two whales that someone forgot to throw back into the water.
I would not mind giving up my seat for Ericka Badu.
Noone likes the aisle seast in a plane. The only people who like the aisle seast are those who have to always go to the bathroom or the people who have packed on a couple of pounds and can't squeeze in any further. Sure I will move and sit next to the crying baby so you can sit with your fiance and hold hands the whole flight. Not going to happen. So for Pete's sake don't mess with the window seat or you could be suffocating between two whales that someone forgot to throw back into the water.
I would not mind giving up my seat for Ericka Badu.
Robin Lopez Is Sideshow Bob
I was watching the Phoenix Suns play the San Antonio Spurs last night and it hit me like a basketball to the head. Robin Lopez looks, no Robin Lopez is Sideshow Bob. I don't know if he got together with his stylist and thought this was the best way to get fans or women but it can't hurt the fact that he plays in the NBA. He could have got a hiarcut like his twin brother Brook Lopez. There has to be an over/under on how many guys around the league ever tell him this or just flat out make fun of him for it. Even with that said he will always be more famous and popular then I will ever be.
FUS= Fucked Up Story
http://www.wmur.com/r/30037563/detail.html
So what do you do when you are trying to hide drugs from the police? Do you decide this is not the life for you and quit because drugs are bad for you? Or get your younger brother to eat cocaine out of your ass because it you are the smartest person in the world? If you picked the latter you are right. This clown convinced his brother to eat the cocaine out of his asshole and in the process it killed him. Not only is he looking at drug charges but now you're a killer as well.
So what do you do when you are trying to hide drugs from the police? Do you decide this is not the life for you and quit because drugs are bad for you? Or get your younger brother to eat cocaine out of your ass because it you are the smartest person in the world? If you picked the latter you are right. This clown convinced his brother to eat the cocaine out of his asshole and in the process it killed him. Not only is he looking at drug charges but now you're a killer as well.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk." I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed f*ck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me." FML
That's what a father is supposed to do.
That's what a father is supposed to do.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Goat-Riding Monkey
Who does not like watching a monkey ride a goat? I mean in must be the national pasttime of some country. I know what you're saying that does not look fun but you can't knock it until you have tried it. The monkey get's a nice ride and the goat is happy to oblige. In all seriousness why does that goat seem so oblivious to the fact that there is a monkey on it's back? It is starting to freak me out a little bit.
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Goat-riding_monkey_raids_farm
Women Launches Yoga Classes For Dogs
http://web.orange.co.uk/article/quirkies/Woman_launches_yoga_classes_for_dogs
No the title above is not a misprint a woman actually started yoga for dogs. Now I don't know much about yoga but isn't downward facing dog just a pose? It does not mean to literally bring them to the facilities. What's next? Bring your parakeets and cockatiels as well. Let's bring the newborn babies too because yoga might stop the crying. You have to appreciate the comment "I already gave yoga classes for adults and also for mothers and their children, so I thought 'this can not be so different than that!' and it is not so different..."
No the title above is not a misprint a woman actually started yoga for dogs. Now I don't know much about yoga but isn't downward facing dog just a pose? It does not mean to literally bring them to the facilities. What's next? Bring your parakeets and cockatiels as well. Let's bring the newborn babies too because yoga might stop the crying. You have to appreciate the comment "I already gave yoga classes for adults and also for mothers and their children, so I thought 'this can not be so different than that!' and it is not so different..."
FML Of The Day
"Today, while working at a pizza place with my girlfriend, I called my boss to tell him we were short on sausage. Under her breathe I heard my girlfriend say, "sounds like somebody I know." FML
Low blow.
Low blow.
Sexy Lady Of The Week
There is this new show on MTV 2 called the Guy Code. It is pretty funny but one of the main draws for watching the show is April Rose. I just came up with a guy code number 1,223,322.2 states that watching the show is mandatory because she is a part of it. There may not be enough words to describe the things I would do to her but damn it I will find them.
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Why Men Do Stupid Things Around Women
We have all seen it where a guy will try and sing in public when he should not. Pick a fight with someone who is probabaly a heavyweight boxer and will definitely kick his ass. Or how about try and hit on a stripper who is their to take his money and give him a lapdance but not take him home. These are just some of the examples men make when they are around women.
Men are sometimes not so smart when it comes to women. They began to fumble their words or began to do things they would never ever do. Even one of the smartest men in the world Stephen Hawking says he is baffled by women. If he is baffled then what chance does that leave for the guys who just learned how to tie their shoes the other day.
Men try to hook up with women that are truly out of their league. Don't get me wrong if you want to date a supermodel or the girl of your dreams by all means go for it. But don't get all depressed when she turns you down for that Brad Pitt or George Clooney look-alike. Sometimes you don't measure up and just remember that the next time you try.
And the main reason men do stupid things around women is because many men think with their penis first and penis second before their brain starts factoring into the equation. Have you ever been to a party where the amount of men outnumbers the women like 10-1? It is like someone left meat in front of a tiger that has not eaten in weeks and you know it is feeding time. That one could not be the best looking female around but after some drinks it won't even matter.
Men are sometimes not so smart when it comes to women. They began to fumble their words or began to do things they would never ever do. Even one of the smartest men in the world Stephen Hawking says he is baffled by women. If he is baffled then what chance does that leave for the guys who just learned how to tie their shoes the other day.
Men try to hook up with women that are truly out of their league. Don't get me wrong if you want to date a supermodel or the girl of your dreams by all means go for it. But don't get all depressed when she turns you down for that Brad Pitt or George Clooney look-alike. Sometimes you don't measure up and just remember that the next time you try.
And the main reason men do stupid things around women is because many men think with their penis first and penis second before their brain starts factoring into the equation. Have you ever been to a party where the amount of men outnumbers the women like 10-1? It is like someone left meat in front of a tiger that has not eaten in weeks and you know it is feeding time. That one could not be the best looking female around but after some drinks it won't even matter.
Facebook Photos
Facebook at the moment has as many members as a small country. With that being said there is a good chance you have some friends on there you have never met. But there are also the family members that are on Facebook that you try and hide from in public but found you anyway.
My guard always goes up when I see a new photo go up on Facebook from a family member because I never know what their motive is. A friend puts it up either because it is funny to them or just thinks it looks cool. A family member will pull out a phot from when you were a young toddler running with your diaper in one hand and the way you came into this world in the other, naked.
I wish they would let us know about some of these pics before they decide to put them up. Do I think they want to blackmail us later in life? No, but it has crossed my mind. So next time you think getting caught at a party with a drink in your hand will be a problem think again. Think back to the days when you had no idea what a drink was and the only thing you looked forward to was Power Rangers and Fruity Pebbles.
My guard always goes up when I see a new photo go up on Facebook from a family member because I never know what their motive is. A friend puts it up either because it is funny to them or just thinks it looks cool. A family member will pull out a phot from when you were a young toddler running with your diaper in one hand and the way you came into this world in the other, naked.
I wish they would let us know about some of these pics before they decide to put them up. Do I think they want to blackmail us later in life? No, but it has crossed my mind. So next time you think getting caught at a party with a drink in your hand will be a problem think again. Think back to the days when you had no idea what a drink was and the only thing you looked forward to was Power Rangers and Fruity Pebbles.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I was fingering my girlfriend. While she was moaning, I whispered in her ear, "Do you like that?" She then stopped instantly and replied, "Nope. This is terrible." FML
LMAO
LMAO
Little Girl Stares Down Lion
Now after watching this video two things pop into my head, this girl is a cool customer and it's a good thing that glass partition was there. That lion did not look to happy getting upstaged by someone he could probably have for an afternoon snack. You live and you learn.
Common vs. Drake
Rick Ross dropped his new mixtape Rich Forever and one of the tracks Stay Schemin featuring Drake and French Montana has got a lot of air play recently. In his verse Drake takes some shots at Common. He doesn't mention his name but most people assume it is about Common. So Common decided to drop his own verse on top of the beat and he just killed it. Here are both songs because they are top notch and worth the listen.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Song Of The Week
This week's song is called Up by LoveRance and as a bonus we have the original video and the remix featuring 50 Cent. So check it out and hopefully you heard it hear first.
FML Of The Day
"Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After saying "no" over 10 times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis." FML
Guys are getting reckless.
Guys are getting reckless.
Monday, January 9, 2012
She Is Not That Type Of Girl
When a friend of mine told me this story I could not believe what I was hearing. It seems certain women but not all use this as their "Get Out of Jail Free Card" as if ther are playing monopoly. The phrase is "I'm not that type of girl.
So a buddy of mine is at a party and he starts talking to this girl and things are going pretty well. They dance a bit and he decides to go back to his place and he asks if she wants to join him. She says yes and he thinks in his mind jackpot! They start making out and he thinks it's a go so he starts going for it then he hears the dreaded words, I'm not that type of girl.
So let me get this straight, you are that girl when you drink with him and dance at a party. You are that type of girl when he says let's go back to his place and you oblige. You are that type of girl when you get into bed with him and start making out. But the second he tries to round second and head for third you give him the stop sign or as we all know it the I'm not that type of girl. So of course the night ended there, a bit earlier than both parties expected.
Don't get me wrong every women has the right to choose whether or not she wants to sleep with a man. No guy should force himself on a woman, that's classless and he could be looking at 15-20 years in a not so friendly place called prison. But when you go this far with a guy what is he supposed to think, maybe she came this far just to cuddle? It would be like if a guy asked you to marry him, got to the alter and could not say yes because he just wanted to be with soemeone and have sex readily available. Don't be that female because that's just uncool
Line Of The Day
"Blue Ivy?" Oh i get it now, Blue is for the blue print and Ivy for Roman numeral 4, and 4 is their favorite number."
Not until a short time ago did I know that this person was talking about Jay-Z and Beyonce's baby.
Not until a short time ago did I know that this person was talking about Jay-Z and Beyonce's baby.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork." FML
It's good to be brown sometimes! (We eat with our hands)
It's good to be brown sometimes! (We eat with our hands)
Sunday, January 8, 2012
It Takes One Of The Smartest Men In The World, Wait, No It Doesn't
http://news.yahoo.com/women-mystery-british-physicist-hawking-135814776.html
Stephen Hawking for those of you who may not know is one of if not the smartest men in the world. He could say we need more cow bell to close up the hole in the ozone layer and people would probably believe him. He is a theoretical physicist, which I had to look up before writing this. So in a recent interview he was asked what is the biggest mystery in the world? His answer was women. I don't think we needed him to bring that to light but now that he has said it, it just makes more sense. I have been on this planet about two decades and I could have told people that but what do I know. I just blog about stuff and hope someone gets a chuckle out of it.
Stephen Hawking for those of you who may not know is one of if not the smartest men in the world. He could say we need more cow bell to close up the hole in the ozone layer and people would probably believe him. He is a theoretical physicist, which I had to look up before writing this. So in a recent interview he was asked what is the biggest mystery in the world? His answer was women. I don't think we needed him to bring that to light but now that he has said it, it just makes more sense. I have been on this planet about two decades and I could have told people that but what do I know. I just blog about stuff and hope someone gets a chuckle out of it.
You Just Blew Your Chance
As I said in an earlier post the transit system in this city is something else. And yes I know another train story but what can I say the, "MTA Is Going My Way."
A female get's on the train a stop after I do and she sits down in a pretty empty train car. Some stops later a guy get's on and he sits all the way at the other end of the car but not before he walked passed her. So as time wore on he would stand up and look down at her. Pretend to read a map or just get up and stretch. Then he decided to make his bold move.
He began to move closer and closer to her. He was still about 30 feet away but the space in between was shrinking. Where was I you ask to witness this spectacle? I was right in between both of them watching this unfold. All I kept thinking is he better make that move because her stop might be approaching soon. Don't worry about him because he would have went to North Korea if she was going there.
And of course her stop comes and she walks out of his underground world. He didn't have to say anything for the look on his face said it all. Moral of the story is don't be the creep in the corner just looking like a weirdo, be the creep in the corner that was looking like a weirdo that made a move. In the end she might not go out with you but she might have some respect for you.
Can You Stop Staring?
There is never a dull moment on the New York City subway system. Even the most ordinary things can catch people especially tourists off-guard. But sometimes you have to keep your eyes open to find the hidden gems.
I was on the train the other day and just minding my own business when this man and woman get on. Now I have no idea if they were a couple but for the sake of this story they are now. As they are having a conversation a woman gets on a couple of stops later and let's just say the guy gives her a once over. The glance was quick but enough to picture her naked and what position he would like to put her in. It's like looking into the sun you have to look at it quick or end up going blind.
Then after checking her out he looked straight ahead and pretended to go to sleep standing up. After that he sat down with his womnan and everything was forgotten. I could tell this was not this man's first rodeo.
Line Of The Day
"I'm tired of this artsy movie like porn shit! Can they please just fuck already?! Don't get me wrong I like a good plot but sometimes they just need to get on with it already... and this soft lovely dovey fucking... sucks!
FML Of The Day
"Today, my mother came home from the grocery store with a 20kg bag of carrots, and nothing else. She then informed me that, for as long as my girlfriend and I keep 'going at it like rabbits', she would be feeding me like one." FML
That's a cool mother!
That's a cool mother!
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Line Of The Day
Friend: "Why does YouTube have porn? WTF is going on here?
Me: Real question is why do you know there is porn on YouTube?
Friend: "Clicked on a link that went to YouTube... wasn't expecting doggy action and a paint job."
Me: Real question is why do you know there is porn on YouTube?
Friend: "Clicked on a link that went to YouTube... wasn't expecting doggy action and a paint job."
FML Of The Day
"Today, we had a fire at our house. Part of the house now has smoke and water damage, and we have to stay at a motel until it's repaired. The cause? My step-son trying to light his own farts." FML
Someone is getting a beating.
Someone is getting a beating.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Song Of The Week
Fabolous dropped his new mixtape There Is No Competition Death Comes In 3's recently and he is back on his game as always. One song that has been getting spin recently is "Swag Champ." If you want to be a champ then listen to this tune and maybe that belt will be around your waist.
Line Of The Day
"You know if you took the $45 million Katy Perry made last year and add that to what I made last year we would have $45 million. We would make a good couple. Lol."
Sex Lady Of The Week
Unfortunately this week's entry Chrissy Teigen is engaged. John Legend you are one lucky man and we are not here to hate but congratulate. That does not mean we can't go ahead and make the Sports Illustrated swimsuit model as this week's sexy lady though. That's right, she is a model.
FML Of The Day
"Today, I had a job interview. I was feeling good about it until I saw the interviewer. It was a guy I had sex with and never called again. He remembered me too." FML
Do guys really care?
Do guys really care?
Monday, January 2, 2012
FML Of The Day
"Today I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye." FML
I'm not sure I believe this.
I'm not sure I believe this.
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