Song Of The Week

This week we have a party jam if there ever was one with Afrojack and Shermamology's "Can't Stop Me." If you can't get down to this then someone needs to check your pulse because you might be dead.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was walking to the movie theatre with my boyfriend, when three guys muscled over and told us to hand over our phones. My boyfriend didn't waste anytime pushing past me and running like hell, leaving me in tears and almost having a panic attack." FML


He clearly didn't follow protocol.

Line Of The Day

"Full frontal blurry nudity."

Stupid Sh** People Say

We have a new feature to the blog and it's called "Stupid Sh** People Say." Every Monday we will try to bring you some of the stupidest and asinine things peole say to each other. So if you're out there don't worry we'll find you.

Does He Love Me

                                              

Girl: "Does he love me?"

This is a very good question and we are here to bring you the answer. Why would you say that to begin with? Yes, he cheats on you with other women, calls only when he wants sex and treats you like trash. But with all that said he loves you more than breathing because we all know if you don't breathe you die. Hopefully that answers your question.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was sitting on the bus following a harrowing breakup. A boy of no more than 6 looked at me full of compassion and said, "Are you crying because you're ugly?" FML

Wow! That's so wrong... but a 6-year-old can get away with it.

Line Of The Day

"Btw I'm looking at a beautiful black girl! She is cute and has a ginormous ass with nice looking breasts. The only problem is that she is with some nigga that is about 6'5'' and 250 pounds, like a linebacker. But let me reiterate her ass is amazing."

Good thing he didn't spot him checking out his girl because he would have tackled him.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I sat awkwardly and pretended like I didn't notice my cousin discreetly trying to masturbate while talking to me. This isn't the first time anything like this has happened." FML

Someone has a problem.

Sexy Lady Of The Week

What is there not to like about Olivia Munn? She is pretty, funny and has a nice body to boot. We even found out that she was going to be topless in a current movie but unfortunately that movie is "Magic Mike." There is no way we are sitting through men gyrating and middle-aged women losing their minds while throwing dollar bills at the screen. With that being we would not mind her stripping for us. Like Childish Gambino said "...texting with Olivia Munn, hopefully she gives me some..."

Famous Base

Merry Christmas in July!

Line Of The Day

"On my way to the barber for the first time in 11 months."

I kid you not folks, when I saw this man I started praying because I thought he was our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

FML Of The Day

"Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore." FML

Must be a good guy to take care of a random offspring.

Song Of The Week

That Carly Rae Jepsen and her catchy tune "Call Me Maybe" is like crack. You say it is no good for you, you try to walk away but the song comes on and you can't grab that needle fast enough. Don't pretend like you don't like it because over 50 million YouTube views proves we're right.

Line Of The Day

"I think we should smoke more."

FML Of The Day

"Today, my neighbors are moving. As we were saying our goodbyes, their 12-year-old son approached and thanked me for the times I forgot to shut the blinds and he watched me change." FML

Such a courteous kid.

That's Exactly Why You Got Knocked Out!

So this is a perfect exampe of what happens when you disrespect someone and think everything is fine and dandy. Let's be serious this fighter still would have been beaten like she stole something but at least she would not have angered her opponent. Just maybe she would have made it out the first round instead of getting destroyed five seconds into the bout. This video should be a reminder to you all, don't get out of line or "you will get knocked the fuck out!"

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was at the airport. I was on my way to see my dad for the first time since I was 4. Whilst I was waiting for my dad to find me, a strange man started flirting with me. Irriated, I told him I was waiting for my dad to get me, and to f*ck off. The strange man was my father." FML

That's a true FML.

Line Of The Day

"Now this is my kinda weather today."

I beg to differ.

Song Of The Week

We have no idea why but this song is cactchy and keeps geeting stuck in our head. It may not be the greatest or that well written but it still makes for a good pump up song. So check out Electric Six and their song "Danger, High Voltage," and let's hope your power does not go out in this heat.

FML Of The Day

"Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe." FML

Hmmmmmm, wet boobies make me smile.